Not A Day Goes By
by DANZNQUEEN
Summary: This is a songfic from Edward's POV to Not A Day Goes By by Lonestar. Edward has just left Forks in New Moon , taking with him Bella's heart. Bella assumes he doesn't want her. But how does Edward REALLY feel about this separation?


**This is set after Edward leaves Bella in _New_ _Moon_. It shows his thoughts and feelings about leaving her. I do not own any of the characters or the plot from Stephenie Meyer's series (although I _wish _I owned Edward...), nor do I own the song by Lonestar.**

**This is my first songfic, so I hope you like it! Please review!!**

**Not A Day Goes By-Lonestar**

_Got a picture of you I carry in my heart.  
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark._

I sat alone, as per usual, in the confines of my car, sheltered from the crystalline Alaskan world just beyond the windows. It was a particularly difficult time, even more so than usual, and I had been certain that was not possible. I did not know the specific date, but I knew it was sometime in early January. The month when Bella arrived in Forks, almost precisely a year ago. When I saw her for the very first time, and our eyes met across the crowded lunchroom. When my life changed forever.

Much as I tried not to, I still saw her face in my mind almost every minute of everyday: deep, chocolate-colored eyes that revealed so much. Smooth, clear, beautiful snow-white skin. Her long, thick, dark brown hair, impossible to resist running my fingers through. Pink, luscious lips that I still longed to kiss…

_Got a memory of you I carry in my soul.  
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold._

Despite my heroic efforts not to, I still remembered the look her features took on when she knew I was lying, the flash of intuition in her eyes when she saw through my pretenses. I remembered the feel of her finger tips, so gloriously warm on my icy skin, tracing patterns on my arm, holding my hand in both of hers. Wrapped around my neck in a passionate embrace, pulling me closer to her. The feel of her body pressed up against mine, seeming to fit in my every curve as if we were made for each other.

The only thing that kept me going these days was knowing that she was safe from harm, safe from _me_. Bella's life was continuing just like it should, like it would have if I hadn't have come around and complicated things for her. Bella's world still existed, even if mine had shattered around me into a million tiny pieces, never to be mended. _  
_

_If you asked me how I'm doing, I'd say just fine.  
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind…_

Every time Esme, Alice, or Carlisle called, concerned for me, I told them I was okay. I said I just needed some time to think, to clear my head. But that was so far from the truth, they had no idea.

_Somehow you remain locked so deep inside.  
Baby, baby, oh, baby, not a day goes by._

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  
After all this time, you're still with me it's true._

It had been a year. And still she plagued my thoughts constantly, like an irritating song you just can't get out of your head. Irritating, yet you don't really want to forget it. Because forgetting would be worse than remembering.  
_  
I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night.  
Thinking you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right._

_And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark.  
Wishing you were next to me, with your head against my heart._

Sitting there in my cold vehicle, I imagined she was there next to me, curled up tight against my side, her head resting on my chest. I could almost smell the sweet, floral fragrance of her skin, her hair…her blood. I could almost taste her lips, feel her warm breath.

_If you asked me how I'm doing, I'd say just fine.  
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind…_

God, was I thankful that I was the only mind reader. If the others knew how tormented, how depressed I really was, they would never allow me all the solitude they were now giving me. Only Alice was even close to guessing how much pain I was really in. She knew me better than anyone, except maybe Bella. Even Jasper, with his special "talent", didn't realize the extent of my agony.

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  
After all this time you're still with me it's true._

_Somehow you remain locked so deep inside.  
Baby, baby, oh, baby, not a day goes by._

How could one simple human cause this much pain to someone like me? I didn't understand! It was not fair that I felt this way. That just the thought of her name gave me such joy yet at the same time made me feel like I was in a living hell. Why couldn't I just let go of her?

_Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days.  
Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way._

I had been alive for over a century, and no one had ever made me feel this way. Not one single person. And now time seemed to stretch before me endlessly, passing slower and slower each day that I didn't get to see her face or hear her voice.

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  
After all this time, you're still with me it's true.  
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside.  
Baby, baby, oh, baby, not a day goes by._


End file.
